What Is Your Nationality?

Let me ask you a question: What is your nationality?

No matter where you go, some things will always be permanent contrary to the common phrase, “the only constant in life is change.” As an expat just starting my journey in a new country, I would have agreed with this. No matter how far I was from where I had spent my childhood, I still viewed it as my home and my nationality. As sweet as that sounds, people might really have a point when they say that “the only constant in life is change.”

After nearly five years away from my home country and nearing the stage in my life when I am beginning to think about what I am going to do as an adult, I have begun to reflect on what it means to be an expat kid moving into adulthood. Which has brought me to the question that I have heard hundreds of times throughout this part of my life: what is your nationality?

Upon first coming to the international school I attend, that question was fairly new to me. The answer was simple. I was an American who had lived in the United States of America my whole life, and I answered as such. My second nationality might have been added on as an afterthought. It didn’t take long before I began to become adjusted to all the different cultures around me. Many students had multiple nationalities and partook of both their cultures while speaking both their native languages. I have a Brazilian passport, eat Brazilian food at home sometimes, and visit my family in Brazil, but I always found myself feeling jealous of the other kids I was around who would speak to me in English before turning to converse with their family in their other tongue. Before too long, I would proudly claim both my nationalities when asked “the question,” but there was always a feeling of guilt associated with it, as though I was claiming something I didn’t deserve. Regardless, this was the first change. It wasn’t just about the answer I was giving but the feeling I had. Being around kids like me with multiple nationalities allowed me to feel more comfortable in also being a dual-nationality kid. I had always been that, but I didn’t view myself in that way as much as I later came to at the international school.

Now, an even bigger change has occurred though the way I answer the question hasn’t. The person that I am now is not something that everyone understands, not something many want to see, but it is who I am. If I really answered the question honestly now: my nationality is expat.

People expect that when they ask, “what is your nationality?” they will get an answer that is written on a passport or maybe two or three. What we often fail to recognize is that nationality is more than text on a page. Nationality is different for different people, but it can be home, culture, language, a place of residence, friendships, family, and more. For many, it is subconscious. It is the things that you understand that people of other nationalities don’t (note: this doesn’t mean that different nationalities clash with one another or lack common ground as the similarities still outweigh the differences).

A common thing to hear adult expats say is that they love meeting people from around the world, but for some reason when they are talking to someone of their own nationality, they always feel more comfortable, as if the conversation flows easier. They are ever so slightly drawn more to those that share the same nationality as them.

As much as one might expect that I can understand other Americans like that, the truth of the matter is that I can’t. I try to understand my culture, remember what a “typical American” does in certain situations and recall what school is like there. My American friends turn to me knowing that I will relate and understand when our other friends don’t only to be fully disappointed. Of course, I am still American and Brazilian. Those are my origins. That said, the people that I am always drawn to are not of these nationalities but rather, are Expat with a capital E. Our culture is change and open-mindedness, our family and friends spread around the world, and our home a mystery we are yet to solve.

Maybe one day I will have a different nationality again, but what I have learned is that as much as one may want to push back against the phrase “the only constant in life is change,” change will happen whether you want it to or not. You never know what is waiting for you around the next corner, and that isn’t a bad thing. With that in mind, for now, I will revel in the expat life I have come to understand and feel comfortable in while also keeping in mind that the unknown lurks around the corner (which is coming up far faster than I ever imagined). I can’t wait to see where my journey takes me next, and I look forward to growing with life into a better person – the person that I will be, but as of yet, cannot even begin to imagine.

**written by my oldest child