Van Harte Gefeliciteerd Met Je Verjaardag

Fijne Verjaardag!  Gefeliciteerd!   What does it mean- Happy Birthday and Congratulations!  Birthdays in The Netherlands are an interesting affair.  There are several notable differences between birthdays here and those in the US.  

1. In The Netherlands, birthdays are a celebration for others more than they are for you.  It is not customary here to congratulate the birthday person as much as it is to congratulate their family.  On my birthday, my husband’s colleagues congratulate him.  When children have birthdays, the parents are congratulated (though I can understand this one; after all, we did keep them alive for another year!).  In general, if you are around them, you should congratulate all of the birthday person’s family on the birthday…and maybe even close friends as well.
2. Along those same lines, no one provides the birthday person with a birthday cake or treat, but rather, it is your responsibility to provide something to allow others to celebrate you.  In offices and schools, this means you bring in a treat to share with everyone on your birthday.  And, your colleagues will get very upset if you don’t.  We moved here on my husband’s birthday, and, thus, I did not send anything into his office.  Now, I think his colleagues forgave us for that, but they made sure to let him know that the following year he needed to bring something. Same goes for your birthday party-you provide the dessert. 
3. Birthdays are important to the Dutch.  I have never seen it personally, but rumor has it that there is a Dutch calendar kept in most homes (oddly enough, kept hanging in the bathroom) that is solely for listing the birthdays of everyone in their circle.
4. Speaking of circles, the Dutch have a strange and often awkward tradition at birthdays of hosting what is called a circle party.  Everyone at the party sits in a circle of seats and has coffee or tea and cake.  The guest list is generally made up of both family (several generations) and friends.  And don’t forget, as a guest, it is your responsibility to greet and congratulate everyone in the circle.  Once you have done this, it is time to sit back and enjoy the potentially painful conversation and awkward silences.  As of yet, I have not attended one of these parties, but have several acquaintances that have, and they have assured me it is an interesting and generally less than desirable event.
5. Finally, in the tradition of Dutch directness, if your neighbors are planning a party that will not assume the form of the quiet circle party, they will generally let you know by dropping a note in your mailbox or by coming to your door to tell you.  And, lest you think that this is their way of making sure that you attend, think again.  They just want you to know that they are having a party, you can expect noise which, by way of them warning you in advance, you are to ignore, and, though they don’t say it directly, you are not invited.  Unlike in the US where we would typically try to avoid having someone know that they weren’t invited to a party, the Dutch are quite comfortable with being open with the fact that you didn’t make the guestlist.

And what’s the final thing that you should know about Dutch birthdays-the song, of course.  

Lang zal ze/hij leven,
Lang zal ze/hij leven,
Lang zal ze/hij leven,
In de gloria,
In de gloria,
In de gloria,
Hip, hip, hip, hoera!
Hip, hip, hip, hoera!
Hip, hip, hip, hoera!

It translates to long shall she or he live (3 times), in the gloria (3 times) and hip hip hooray (3 times). It’s a boisterous and fun song to sing. To get a feel for the tune and energy, think swinging mug of beer in one hand as you tipsily sing in a pub!

So there you have it-birthdays in The Netherlands. They seemingly celebrate and benefit everyone except the birthday person, but they are fun and important celebrations none the less!